If you believe that your good Father in heaven knows what you need, and He knows when you need discipline and when you need consolation and when you need to be desolate because you run the risk of growing complacent far, far, far, too often, then who do you think you are when you refuse to run to Him in prayer when you’ve encountered your own failings?
You pretend you’re Him. You steal His name as final authority, judge, and mock His authority by acting as an executioner.
That’s not the name He gave you.
Look, the Lord doesn’t give you glimpses into your own heart so you can condemn it. He doesn’t do it to rub your nose in your mess like a puppy who’s soiled the carpet.
He shows you your heart for the same reason He has worked those miracles on the dusty streets of first century Palestine.
You take your cue from the crowd around the blind man: “Lord, why was this man born blind? Was it because he sinned, or because his parents sinned?” Surely he does not deserve to be healed.
“Lord, why is my heart like this? Was it because I’ve sinned, or because people in my life have sinned against me?” Surely I don’t deserve to be healed. I must have done something to deserve this wretched heart.
And like He answered that crowd, He answers you, if you’re willing to listen. “Neither… it is so that the works of God may be made manifest in Him.” So that the world may see a particular instance of my Father’s infinite glory.
Little one, your heart is the glory of God waiting to be revealed. He shows you the weeds and asks you to wait with the patience of the wheat farmer – letting the weeds and wheat grow side by side, else ripping out the weeds may destroy the wheat as well. Wait on His word; wait for His work.
Of the times He has shown you the wounds in Your heart, how many has He failed to heal them? Not once. Not a single time.
Of the times He has allowed suffering into your life to crucify this desire or that tendency, how many times has He failed to bring about resurrection? Not once. Not a single time.
Because, Jessie, you see – God is a God of relentless victory. If He has begun a work in you, you can hang your hat and bet your bottom dollar and sell-out for that promise, because He will bring it to completion. He will do it for you, because He loves you.
But if you ever doubt that He will do it because He loves you – because how could He possibly love you – you can have faith that He will do it for the sake of His own name. And believing in His name is the antidote to that toxic doubt that He somehow loves you, because His name is love and His name is your name.
By the power of your Baptism and adoption into the household of God, you bear His name. You house His Presence. To the extent that you have let Him transform you thus far, you look like His face: because He became man, not to look like you, but so that you could grow to look LIKE HIM. You reflect the glory of the Son back to the Father.
And so it is right to stake your whole life on this promise: for the sake of His name, which is now your own, He who has begun this work in you will finish it.
Your heart is the glory of God revealed.